Imagine you are an agony aunt called Doreen who people contact because you give quirky but useful answers. How would you reply to the following?
Dear Doreen, my identical twin brother has set up a Facebook page in my name and posts embarrassing photos of himself. People think it’s me. What should I do?
Dear Doreen, my wife’s an acrobatic gymnastics tutor and says she will leave me to join a circus if I don’t do some housework. I hate housework and feel it’s a woman’s job. Do you think she’s serious?
Dear Doreen, my fiancé says he wants to bring his best friend on honeymoon with us in case we have an argument, and then he won’t have to spend time on his own. Do you think the friend should pay for his own flight and accommodation?
Dear Doreen, I love my sewing machine more than I love my husband. I spend all day making beautiful garments for myself that bring me much pleasure. But a sewing machine doesn’t pay the bills or get rid of spiders. My husband says I need to spend some time with him but I’d rather sew. What do you advise?
Dear Doreen, is it wrong to eat breakfast in the shower?
Dear Doreen, I am interested in one of the most fascinating topics in the universe—space ships. I read about it, watch documentaries, and contribute to many online forums. I have become very knowledgeable on the subject and can talk about any aspect of it at length. Surprisingly all the women I meet on dating sites can’t converse adequately on this topic, so I must be using the wrong sites. Which dating site do you recommend?
Dear Doreen, my mother and I have different views on the best way to hang washing out on the line. What are your views?
Dear Doreen, I’m eighteen and a half. I want to get married on my nineteenth birthday, as all my friends got married then, and I have booked the church. I haven’t met a suitable partner yet and so I need to know the quickest way to find someone.
Dear Doreen, my neighbor has recently bought a Cadillac. Over the last year he has installed a pool and built a house extension. I’ve managed to keep up and do the same by maxing out on my credit cards but the banks won’t lend me money for a new car. Where can I get the money from?
Dear Doreen, my wife has a fascination for Santa Claus and wants me to be like him. I’m thirty-six, tall, slim with dark hair, work as a diesel mechanic, and would describe myself as “ambitious” rather than “jolly.” What should I do?